remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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