So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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