My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
