He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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