marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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