My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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