Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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