Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
