Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
