Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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