I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
