do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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