She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
