i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
