at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
