Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
