I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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