You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
