dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
