too bad you live with your parents still
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
