why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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