omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The uberlube is also flammable
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
