Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
