I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
