Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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