i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
