I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
