I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
