Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
MIDGETS
????
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
