I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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