I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
this will be a night to untag.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
