I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm both gender and math confused
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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