I am spending my child support on dildos
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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