I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
