yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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