Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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