At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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