last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
organizing the empties. That sober.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
