had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
