Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
