she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
