Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
