John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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