Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I faked an abortion last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
