Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
