she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
