Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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