All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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