Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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