didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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