Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The best revenge is premature balding
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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