NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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