whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
