stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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