this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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