fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
