This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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